11 pm, pre-game pep talk

It's 11 pm and the night shift in my rattle-trap body receives last minute instructions.


 "OK you guys, listen up. Here's what we've got tonight:

• There's a scrape below the left elbow, some bleeding was involved. That needs to be fixed. Clot and Fibrin, take care of that. You two did a great job on that kitchen knife thumb cut the other day. Kudos.
  'Thanks, boss, but we got a lot of help from Neosporin on that one.'

• Right big toe ... seems to be the start of a little ingrowing there. De Sade, keep pushing the pain, maybe this guy will take care of it some day.

• Vulcan! Not a lot of action on the reflux lately! What gives? You retired or what?
  'Hey! Ease up. The guy's eatin' all this bland stuff ... salads and shit. He's not givin' me a lot to work with.'

• There's that itchy thing that won't clear up. Where was that?....oh, yeah. Salvo, can you work on that again tonight please? 

• Folman, you've got to step it up. Accounting came up with only ten hairs lost last night. Not acceptable. Remember we're going for total Friar Tuck fringe by the time this guy hits retirement. Big effort tonight, Folman. 

• Uriah. What can I say? Great job last night again. Up twice to pee. And the timing was great .... 1 am and 4 am ... keep up the pressure.

• That dull ache in the knee? Still there. Pat, if you can't handle it let me know, we'll send de Sade to amp up the pain, maybe this guy will go see an orthopod then.

That's it. Any questions? Yes, you in the back, Hogsnout."
"What kind of soft palate action should I do tonight?"
"Good question. What did you do last night?"
"Well, I started with a sound-machine-full-blast and finished up with a spouse-sleeping-in-the-spare-bedroom."
"We like that combo, Snout. Even better when you hang back until the spouse turns out the light, then come on strong when she tries to fall asleep. Always makes for a great show.
All right. Let's go out there and get it done!"

And so to sleep.